It’s Friday afternoon, about 12:30pm and I’m sitting in the clubhouse of the Whitlock Golf and Country Club in beautiful Hudson, Quebec with my laptop, thinking about IGotNewsForYou and my life, glancing at the newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. Why am I sitting in the clubhouse instead of hanging around my kitchen in my underwear? It’s because the cleaning lady is in this afternoon, and take my word for it, you wouldn’t want to get in her way. I’m one of the most honest people I know. My wife and I have traveled extensively and have been on many cross-border shopping trips to US border towns. Each time we leave Canada, I start to fret about our coming back and dealing with Canadian Customs. As you may have guessed, my wife likes to shop. I spend the whole trip worrying about import limits, US-Canada exchange rates, duties on things manufactured in various countries, surly border officials just waiting to nail my sorry ass against the wall, Goods and Services Tax, Provincial Sales Tax, confiscation of my car, confiscation of my wife when she starts to argue with the border guard, etc. etc. Crossing back into Canada is an experience that leaves me sweating, trembling and on the verge of a complete breakdown. I invariably look like I’m lying and I’m sure the 18 year old customs officer also knows that I’m lying about the number of souvenirs, t-shirts, blouses, shoes, etc. that are hidden in our suitcases. And as I look at our newspaper this afternoon, I see that some Canadian agency has illegally imported human bones and tissues from cadavers from a US company. These body parts may have been infected with HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis, syphilis and who knows what else, and have been used in transplants. Recipients of these tissues are of course planning a massive lawsuit. So what did the guy bringing this stuff into Canada say at the border when asked if he had anything to declare? What did he say was the value of the purchases he was bringing in? Was he nervous and uptight? Did he declare the socks he bought in Plattsburgh as well as the human tissue? Did he have to pay duty on the socks and the bones but not the tissues? Should I ask him to join my wife and I on our next shopping trip to Vermont? (Technorati Tags: canada, tissue transplant, cross-border shopping)