The IGotNewsForYou.com team of writers (Al, again) has got writer's block. Says he can't come up with anything new. Had something to do with his new puppy -- and his family is so excited. They just got this new Bernese Mountain pup -- a male -- and cute as a button. Seems the pup started humping Al's leg almost immediately. The vet said it wasn't sexual; the pup needed to assert his dominance as the main male in the house. Well Al wasn't going to sit by and idly get humped -- so he started to hump the pup's leg back to assert HIS dominance. After a few of these episodes, the cute little pup now cowers, sticks its tail between its legs and runs away every time Al enters the room. Al's family is totally pissed at him. They leave the room too as soon as he walks in (not that that's so different from how they always acted). I can understand the writer's block. Neil is chomping at the bit to launch IGotNewsForYou.com as if there's nothing else in his life. Maybe he should get a puppy to keep him busy. Ben is working feverishly at his job and IGotNewsForYou. He doesn't have time for a puppy. And my wife told me that if I didn't get a job soon, and get out of the house, she would trade me in for a puppy. If I don't have a real job by September 2006, Al's puppy and I will move in together in an apartment downtown and look for babes. (PS. No puppies were harmed in any humping activity whatsoever. We love puppies. Honest. For all we know, Al's making the whole story up to avoid doing any real work. For more information about Bernese Mountain dogs go to: http://www.berner.org/)