Last weekend, we had a couple of overnight guests stay with us. About a week before their arrival my better half suggested that we install a small TV in the basement guest room for their viewing pleasure. No problem. Tube TVs are really cheap what with the flat panels, HDTV and who knows what other technology is looming just over the horizon. So out I went and spent a whopping $100 on a little TV. I bring it home and try it where I have my current cable connection. Lovely picture. I then bring it to the guest room in the basement, connect it to the cable outlet in the wall and turn it on...only to get a screenful of snow. Ah well, I'll just find the splitter and connect the dangling wire, or at worse, go out and buy a splitter with an extra output and maybe a booster. I am a pro at this sort of thing, very handy around the house. So I search through the house. No cable splitter. Ah well. Guess I'll have to call the local cable company and pay them $60 for 3 minutes of work to connect a wire. So I make the appointment. Unfortunately the service guy can't come before the guests, so no TV for them, but next time (and for future guests) - the glory of cable in their basement bedroom! Guests come and go. Any that don't aren't really guests, they're family, family mooches, and that spells trouble (and that's a story for another time). Technician day arrives. I wait. He calls. He's lost. Give him directions. 15 minutes later, he calls again. Lost again. (Technically still lost since he probably never found his way in the first place.) More directions. 20 minutes later he calls again...should I be shocked at this point? He's lost. And no, I don't live in a remote desert with no street names or signs. I ask him if he saw the McDonalds near the highway...yes, he replies...I tell him to meet me there, and I can be there in 10 minutes. He describes his truck, I describe my car. (Now I've got a blind date with a cable guy and I'm feeling dirty.) I get there. Wait 20 minutes, no one shows up. I drive home really pissed. Walk in, phone rings. He missed the exit but he's approaching the restaurant now. I tell him I'll be there in a flash. I get there. He follows me home. (Are we dating, or is he stalking me? Now I'm lost.) Two hours later he still hasn't found where the cable comes into the house or the location of the splitter. Says he's done and has no solution except to wire the house from the inside to the outside and back to the inside. I tell him I hope he can find his way home. That night I call the previous owner...no one home...leave a message...it's been 2 days with no return call. And I thought we lived in such a technologically advanced society...ah well...wife is really steamed. Do they still sell "rabbit ears" for TVs? (Technorati Tags: cable tv, humor)