When playing card games (or any other games) that involve working with a wife (or long-time companion) as a partner, I've realized how wary one really must be. It seems a unique set of signals (aka non-verbal communication) is developed over time between co-habitants, which are easily transferrable to the card-playing table, and should provide a distinct advantage to the signallers. These signals are very subtle, often made unconciously, and as such can be very dangerous to the unsuspecting, naive opponents. These signals get refined over time, generally in social situations, and for the most part, are unilateral. That is, the female partner is typically the signal giver, the male typically the signal recognizer, and as such, he faces a much more difficult task...that of being the signal interpreter. As I just mentioned, so bear with me as I repeat myself, signals develop over time. There's the pinky finger to the inside of the corner of the eye, indicating that the male partner has some white crap there. The finger to the tooth? Yup, broccoli. Finger to the nostril? Ugh. Who has ever been on the receiving end of the sideways glance? It can mean you're being boring or rude to the guests, you have to go change the hand towels, or your elbows are on the table. What about the upward glance or the Olympic-sized double eye-roll? Not only are you boring, you're acting like an idiot and you're embarassing me, your wife/partner/fiance/most important person in your life. A gentle caress of the table fork? You're using the fork to eat your soup, moron. Of course, there are plenty more of these subtle signals, and many people have made money giving business courses on body language, body odor (ok, probably not), gesturing and other non-verbal communication. Seems to me, the point of all of this is that some of us (no names, but hint, hint, wink, wink) need to take things a little less seriously, and some of us (that would be me), have to shape up and simply "get with the program". (Technorati Tags: relationships, manners, satire)